Ads Banner
Hot Best Seller

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Availability: Ready to download

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow!!!!


Compare
Ads Banner

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow!!!!

1 review for Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

  1. 4 out of 5

    Rachel

    My biggest problem with the book is that it is extremely sexist. The book continually explains that this is just how men are, and then goes on to explain how women can learn to deal with that. Biggest load of crap ever. While some people will certainly fall into these stereotypes, I believe this book may cause more harm than good. Some of the sexist highlights: -a woman should go shopping when her man decides that he needs alone time (this is how she can show him her love and trust) {apparently My biggest problem with the book is that it is extremely sexist. The book continually explains that this is just how men are, and then goes on to explain how women can learn to deal with that. Biggest load of crap ever. While some people will certainly fall into these stereotypes, I believe this book may cause more harm than good. Some of the sexist highlights:-a woman should go shopping when her man decides that he needs alone time (this is how she can show him her love and trust) {apparently women were able to spend more time shopping when they lived on Venus, because the planet was “covered in shopping malls.”)-a man can leave anytime he wants – in fact, he cannot even control when it is that he may need to leave-a woman is unfairly punishing a man if he leaves even when she really needs him and she then acts upset or hurt in the slightest upon his return Gray thinks that only women are needy, and that only men need to be alone. Not so. Apparently, Gray thinks that women only ever want to be with their men, and nothing more. Well, that is simply not true for most independent, capable, and informed women. But that is beside the point. Let’s assume that it is true. What bothers me even more is that Gray identifies the different needs of men and women (men need space; women need someone to listen to them/emotional attachment), but he then goes on to explain that when both men and women are experiencing their needs at the same time, the woman simply must concede to the man’s needs. Gray explains that *whenever* men need to be alone, that is just the way it is. There are no compromises. In his book, a woman, Cathy, asks the question: “If he gets to be in his cave then what about me? I give him space, but what do I get?” And here is the answer: “What Cathy gets is the best her partner can give at the time. By not demanding that he listen to her when she wants to talk, she can avoid making the problem much worse by having a huge argument. Second, she gets his support when he comes back – when he is truly capable of supporting here.” That is simply ridiculous. What a woman gets is *whatever* her partner can give at the time. A woman just must let the man have what it is he needs, regardless of her needs at the time. I’m sorry, but being in a relationship requires selflessness, and that means that both men and women have to give more than what our selfish natures think we can handle. While I’ll admit that some of Gray’s advice is helpful (insofar as the individuals in a given relationship fall into Gray’s stereotypes), they simply are just not that profound. Essentially, “if you listen to women and try not to take them for granted, your relationship will be better.” Well, no kidding. The book just seemed full of perplexing thoughts. For example: “Men rarely say ‘I’m sorry’ because on Mars it means you have done something wrong and you are apologizing.” Well, even on earth, I was under the impression that when you are apologizing, you say sorry. I don’t know why the definition of sorry would somehow explain why men would be less able than women to say it. In the chapter about how to score points with the opposite sex, there is a list of 101 things a man can do such as bringing her flowers, listening to her, complimenting her, calling her, etc. Most of them are good, even if obvious suggestions; nonetheless, Gray’s view of women as subordinate still creeps in. My favorite thing a man can do to score points with a woman is #67: “read out loud or cut out sections of the newspaper that would interest her.” Good idea. Because I can’t read, and even if I could, women don’t read newspapers. Come on! Even more upsetting is that the corresponding list of 26 things that a woman can do to “score big with men” involves NOT doing things. For example, he makes mistakes, and she doesn’t say anything; “he disappoints her, and she does not punish him.” There are only a few things that a woman can affirmatively do to score points, one of which is “she really enjoys having sex with him.” Again, women are largely the passive actors. I’ve wasted far too much energy and time already on this book. It is now dead to me. flag 590 likes · Like  · see review View all 80 comments Nov 03, 2009 Mephistia rated it did not like it Shelves: relationships-nf, not-a-fan, did-not-finish There are some books that you hear about and you hear about and you hear about, and eventually you think, "Hmmm, maybe I ought to read that. It's had a huge cultural impact on our society, it might be a good idea to be in on that."Kind of like seeing Stars Wars, E.T. and the Godfather Trilogy (I still haven't seen E.T. or the Godfather Trilogy, but I hear they're both great). It's just a big cultural thing, you know?With books, there are a few that everyone needs to know. There are the obvious There are some books that you hear about and you hear about and you hear about, and eventually you think, "Hmmm, maybe I ought to read that. It's had a huge cultural impact on our society, it might be a good idea to be in on that."Kind of like seeing Stars Wars, E.T. and the Godfather Trilogy (I still haven't seen E.T. or the Godfather Trilogy, but I hear they're both great). It's just a big cultural thing, you know?With books, there are a few that everyone needs to know. There are the obvious ones -- classics written by the likes of Dickens, Austen, and Hawthorne. There are those timeless works that were never meant to be popularly read, but rather popularly seen (Shakespeare, Euripides, Sophocles, Malowe), yet have somehow become English High School standard fare. And then there are the books that ripple through our space and time. Oprah said this, or my friend said that, or a church is protesting against this. The books that capture the public attention for longer than the space of a breath and manage to hold it. Sometimes these books have actually earned that attention. In most cases, not so much.This book? It really didn't. It said nothing that we haven't heard before. It actually reinforced a lot of offensive stereotypes. As a woman, one I personally took offense to was in the introduction. John Gray's telling the story of how, after his wife (Bonnie) had torn while giving birth to their first child, she'd been put on pain killers. After he took 5 days off from work to help her with taking care of the newborn, he returned to work. That day she apparently ran out of sick pills and asked his visiting brother to pick up a refill. For some reason, the brother didn't return with the pills. When the author/husband returned that evening, his in-pain wife starts crying to him about her day, he takes offense and they get in a fight.All perfectly reasonable and normal. Newborn baby, stressful times, blah, blah, blah. The reason this is important is because this is the authors so-called "Ah-ha!" moment. He apparently, at this point, turns to storm out, and his wife says, "John Gray, stop! You're a fair weather friend! You love me when I'm smiley and happy, but you don't like me when I'm frowny and down!"Or something to that effect. I've made it even cheesier than it was in the book, but let me assure you: it was pretty cheesy in the book. I am willing to bet it was not that cheesy in real life.Anyway, long story short, the author says that he realized his wife was right, all she needed was a hug, he'd been a taker and not a giver, blah blah blah. Then he said what pissed me off and made me throw the book across the room with a growl (don't worry, it was an old, beat-up copy that I obtained second-hand from a free bin). And I quote, "Another woman would have instinctively known what Bonnie needed. But as a man, I didn't know that touching, holding, and listening were so important to her."I hate those kind of blanket statements, and I have to admit I'm prone to dismissing any advice that comes from someone who makes those types of statements. Do you know what I, a born and raised female, do when someone cries? I pat them awkwardly on the shoulder and ask if there's someone I can call.People come in all flavors, and a blanket, generic statement isn't going to capture them. Neither is a condescending attitude of, "Remember back when you lived on Venus and I lived on Mars? Remember what that was like? Now we live on mean old Earth that has made us forget all those Venusian and Marsian traits!"My gosh, it's like a Scientology manual gone mad. I wonder if it is. flag 195 likes · Like  · see review View all 28 comments Aug 23, 2007 Benjamin Crawford rated it did not like it Recommends it for: Virgins Shelves: wish-i-could-hit-author-with-it Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and John Gray is from far, far further out in the solar system...My broad-stroke perspective on this book is that I am inherently skeptical when someone purports to reduce human behavior to simplistic, read-about-it-on-the-subway categories, gender-specific behavior in particular. Resorting to simple explanations for that which is scary -- and I think it's safe to say that romantic partnerships can be scary, because vulnerability is involved, after all -- Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and John Gray is from far, far further out in the solar system...My broad-stroke perspective on this book is that I am inherently skeptical when someone purports to reduce human behavior to simplistic, read-about-it-on-the-subway categories, gender-specific behavior in particular. Resorting to simple explanations for that which is scary -- and I think it's safe to say that romantic partnerships can be scary, because vulnerability is involved, after all -- is tempting, but doesn't necessarily make you a better partner, or person. In fact, it can achieve the opposite.As for Mr. Gray, my take is that he is one of many who has found that he can profit from the human inclination toward over-simplifying the dynamic, hence his series of tripe-laden tomes. flag 127 likes · Like  · see review View all 7 comments Mar 07, 2013 Traveller rated it did not like it Idiotic sexist drivel. Catch a rocket back to Mars, Dr Gray. flag 104 likes · Like  · see review View all 6 comments Jun 09, 2008 Jillian rated it it was amazing Shelves: in-2008 This book saved me from killing my boyfriend. :) flag 101 likes · Like  · see review View all 10 comments May 24, 2009 Spider the Doof Warrior rated it did not like it Shelves: ew, i-hate-this-book I always thought human beings were individual people with individual likes and dislikes that do not relate to their genitals.Apparently I am wrong. Men and women are actually from different planets! We're alien species! Sure we can have babies together, but we are totally different. Women like to shop because they come from a planet full of shopping centers.Men like to fix things and play sports because that's all they did on their planet.Now if we would just remember that we are two different I always thought human beings were individual people with individual likes and dislikes that do not relate to their genitals.Apparently I am wrong. Men and women are actually from different planets! We're alien species! Sure we can have babies together, but we are totally different. Women like to shop because they come from a planet full of shopping centers.Men like to fix things and play sports because that's all they did on their planet.Now if we would just remember that we are two different alien species, we can get along! Women must accept that men need to hide in their caves. Men need to accept that women need to talk about everything and don't actually want solutions. Women must accept that men will not ask for directions and not make them feel less manly. Men need to accept that women want to buy a lot of shoes.I hate these sort of books. Does it occure to people to actually TALK to their mate? To get to know them as an individual and not a series of stereotypes? Notice that most of these sort of books state that men are the way they are and you just have to deal with it. Men can't change, women! Their penises and testosterone prevent that! It's ridiculous! People are all DIFFERENT!Some women don't like buying shoes that bend their feet in weird ways! Some men *Gasp* hate sports!Also, I think this writer was divorced several times and doesn't have a real PhD, so why LISTEN TO HIM?!Also, as an introvert I NEED A CAVE! I need somewhere where I can relax, recharge and have peace and quiet after dealing with... SOCIETY.Why do just men get to have caves? flag 86 likes · Like  · see review View all 17 comments Jan 07, 2009 Eddie Black rated it did not like it This is not psychology. This is not even close to be science. I had to read this horrible book in the past (my partner liked it) and I kept thinking to myself that a lot of the stuff in the book was just too convenient, too stereotypical, to easy. Doing a little research found that the school that gave th author his Ph.D. was done away with and that several states (California, Oregon...) will not recognize the titles that the "school" gave out. I don't like bashing people on ideas, but I hate to This is not psychology. This is not even close to be science. I had to read this horrible book in the past (my partner liked it) and I kept thinking to myself that a lot of the stuff in the book was just too convenient, too stereotypical, to easy. Doing a little research found that the school that gave th author his Ph.D. was done away with and that several states (California, Oregon...) will not recognize the titles that the "school" gave out. I don't like bashing people on ideas, but I hate to see people write as though they are scientists or psychologists when they are not. It does harm to the fiel of psychology and breeds distrust for the field among the general public. This book does more harm than good. There are ample books out there based on mountains of research about the real and not real differences (and amazing similarities) between men and women, as well as those who are in different gender categories than the binary system perpetuated by poorly written material such as this.Terrible book and dishonest in its approach to try to come across as psychology. If I could give negative stars I would. flag 55 likes · Like  · see review Dec 25, 2007 Amrita rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: dumb asses who want to be MISLED! UTTER ROT!!!The book shows men as creatures with very fragile egos and women as over sensitive.Men & women communicate differently, maybe, but some of the "theories" are really wrong.Like women talk problems for your empathy or sympathy, for the sake of talking it out and that they are not looking for a solution. Then, talking wouldn't make sense would it?Like men hate being told how to fix the fuacet, or how to find the way...This book has OUT-Dated views. I regreted reading it! flag 49 likes · Like  · see review View 2 comments Jan 02, 2009 Miyo rated it did not like it what a load of crap. my friend gave me this book after trying to salvage his marriage, told me it was really insightful. He got a divorce within a year. flag 40 likes · Like  · see review View 1 comment Jun 20, 2008 Jennifer rated it it was ok I decided to read this book because I'm a Dave Ramsey fan and it was one of the books on his recommended reading. I've been married for 10 years, but I figured it couldn't hurt to learn to communicate a little better. I'm not sure this book helped any. It's written with the assumption that all men are alike and all women are alike and that most of them have a "traditional" marriage or relationship. There is something sexist in the author's tone. He paints the women as the homemakers with a love I decided to read this book because I'm a Dave Ramsey fan and it was one of the books on his recommended reading. I've been married for 10 years, but I figured it couldn't hurt to learn to communicate a little better. I'm not sure this book helped any. It's written with the assumption that all men are alike and all women are alike and that most of them have a "traditional" marriage or relationship. There is something sexist in the author's tone. He paints the women as the homemakers with a love of shopping and nurturing. He paints the men as the breadwinners who want to come home from work and watch sports on TV until you bring them their dinner.The only insight I gained from the book was the different ways that men and women react to and deal with stress. The book was boring, very repetitive and seemed to drag on and on for much longer than needed to convey it's message. flag 32 likes · Like  · see review View all 4 comments Aug 29, 2008 Katie rated it did not like it This book was insulting and biased. Written from an unapologetically male perspective, it attempts to lump men and women into desired roles. The man can leave anytime he wants, and the woman, to show her love and trust (read: naivety), should go shopping. Yes, that's what his argument boils down to. I am all for acceptance, but when there are real issues that need to be dealt with, they are not fixed by saying, "Oh, that's just what men do." The "wave" section was particularly enraging as an This book was insulting and biased. Written from an unapologetically male perspective, it attempts to lump men and women into desired roles. The man can leave anytime he wants, and the woman, to show her love and trust (read: naivety), should go shopping. Yes, that's what his argument boils down to. I am all for acceptance, but when there are real issues that need to be dealt with, they are not fixed by saying, "Oh, that's just what men do." The "wave" section was particularly enraging as an attempt to explain away arguments and legitimate emotions through that-time-of-the-month moodiness. And the gender bias leaves no room for the non-traditional, i.e. homosexual, relationship. All a man needs is a woman, and all a woman needs is a man, right? I have news for you, John Gray: EVERYONE needs alone time, and EVERYONE should feel comfortable talking with their parter, and EVERYONE gets moody...including my father, my brother, and my man. flag 31 likes · Like  · see review May 16, 2014 Aj the Ravenous Reader rated it really liked it Shelves: non-fiction This is a very helpful and informative book about the million differences between men and women. It's also entertaining and it brought my perception of the opposite sex in an entirely different but more positive way. This is a very helpful book to everyone especially those who find it hard to keep relationships because of misunderstanding their partners. flag 36 likes · Like  · see review Sep 29, 2009 G.L. Morrison rated it did not like it This book is such crap -it includes justifications for date rape and recommends that the woman just "let her husband do it" even when she's not into it. His argument being how long is a quickie anyway. Put out to get along is this marriage counselor's advice. Without the slightest concern to the impact this may have on her libido, boundaries, or esteem for the man who doesn't care if she's into it as long as he gets some.FUCK are you serious? The layers of hostility that John Gray has to women This book is such crap -it includes justifications for date rape and recommends that the woman just "let her husband do it" even when she's not into it. His argument being how long is a quickie anyway. Put out to get along is this marriage counselor's advice. Without the slightest concern to the impact this may have on her libido, boundaries, or esteem for the man who doesn't care if she's into it as long as he gets some.FUCK are you serious? The layers of hostility that John Gray has to women are out-fucking-rageous and the not so thinly veiled criticism of his own past relationships and "marriages" that he thinks might have been salvaged if the bitches er venusians had been more sexually generous.This is right up there in the list of crap sex/relationship books whom I condemn the authors to be beaten to death with every copy they ever sold. As bad as "everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask" author (rubens?) who said "one vagina plus one vagina equals nothing". Clearly both these men need to rent a porn video and buy a clue. Women do enjoy sex. Just probably not with you, dude. Go figure. flag 22 likes · Like  · see review Apr 19, 2015 Stela rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition Shelves: chick-lit, reviews, culture-and-civilization Love: User's Manual Do you remember the bunch of books Bridget Jones used to carry about in order to make sense of her weird and chaotic life? One of them was just this one, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and because of its longish and kinda stupidish, funnyish title, I assumed, when I saw the movie, it was merely an amusing invention to go with the giddy thirtish female character (as you see I’ve just discovered magic of the “-ish” suffix in the economy of the text). So imagine my Love: User's Manual Do you remember the bunch of books Bridget Jones used to carry about in order to make sense of her weird and chaotic life? One of them was just this one, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and because of its longish and kinda stupidish, funnyish title, I assumed, when I saw the movie, it was merely an amusing invention to go with the giddy thirtish female character (as you see I’ve just discovered magic of the “-ish” suffix in the economy of the text). So imagine my surprise when I found the book was real (hey, in my defense what I recall happened some eight years ago!) and very famous (according to Wikipedia it sold millions of copies). Meanwhile I’ve heard and read a lot of allusions at this book but although I bought it by mild curiosity from an antique book store several years ago, I’ve let it collect dust on my to-read shelf, for it was always another book more inciting to choose. Until now, that is.I have to confess that, since I am not a great believer in such magic recipes, I’ve never come round reading this kind of relationship guides until now – they seem to me a little fraudulent in their pretense that they can solve major problems of the human soul and/ or behaviour by providing some general advice similar to those that help you understand how to make work a certain device. Consequently, my motivation for reading has been right from the beginning mere curiosity and a suspicion that, with such a title, I would have fun. Which indeed I’ve had, but when all was laughed and done, I found it, unexpectedly, quite sad. What a difference between this book, with its pitiful pretense of psychological study and great books on the same subject (although not “practical guides”) like Denis de Rougemont’s Love in the Western World for example. And if you think I am unjust by comparing grapes and tomatoes so to say (for everybody takes care not to compare apples and oranges) I will tell you that this is the very core of the problem: for such a book to gain an almost religious halo, it needs readers without much psychological depth, who think of themselves only as machines waiting to be fixed, should the right tool be found.My daughter has been playing for many years now a computer game called Sims. If you are not familiar with it, I can tell you it is about a virtual family you grow up, build a home for, send to work and so on. Some time ago she told me, amused, that once she forgot to send one of them to pee and although he had become increasingly uncomfortable he couldn’t go to the bathroom by himself, he had to wait (and grimace, and dance, and lose self-esteem points) until she saw him and directed him to the toilet. Doesn’t it seem to you lately that we live in a Sims society, waiting to be told when, how and what to do? Helpless when let alone, unable to understand the others, unable to understand ourselves anymore without a self-help at hand. In aching need of statements like “A man sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results” or “A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships” which we don’t bother even to verify, so they seem the answer to all the problems.And the sadness of all this it is that nobody thinks it demeaning to find oneself reduced to a mere stereotype: man is action, woman is feeling, man is silence, woman is talk, man is a rubber band, woman is a wave, etc., etc., etc., on the contrary feeling strangely comforted to be offered universal solutions like Love Letter techniques (oh, yes!), scoring boards, emotional tables and even a “Venusian/ Martian phrase dictionary” which teaches you how to speak your man/ woman language:“We never go out” translated into Martian means “I feel like going out and doing something together. We always have such a fun time, and I love being with you. What do you think? Would you take me out to dinner? It has been a few days since we went out.”I won’t bother to talk about the platitude of the above-quoted “translation”, but I cannot help expressing my dismay that millions (millions!) found it useful in improving their relationships, as though otherwise they could not understand a hyperbola or a hint or whatever. Besides, the book is full of such pearls of wisdom, many beautifully framed to easier be found in the rush of a matrimonial crisis:When our partner resists us it is probably because we have made a mistake in our timing or approach.Or:Not to be needed is a slow death for a man.Or:Never go into a man cave or you will be burned by the dragon!Nor will I talk about the kind of ridiculously mixed metaphors the book is full of (I’ve just given you an example); I will only jump to the final chapter with its involuntary humour, chapter that pretends that this is the one and only way to keep alive the magic of love. What magic? Love is not, to use a Stendhalian appellation, passion or vanity, it is not mannered or physical. Not anymore. Love is a tank of gas which any Venusian expects to be filled by her Martian. Correctly, I mean. Whence the utility of this book. To whom it may concern. flag 20 likes · Like  · see review View all 4 comments Dec 17, 2009 Esmoi rated it did not like it Shelves: non-fiction, siberia Utterly unhelpful for those of us who do not fit the stereotypical personalities associated with our genders. I'm a Myers-Briggs INTJ. I like to retreat to my cave. Maybe, according to Gray's beliefs, this means I must also have a deeply hidden penis? Don't get me wrong. I'm not some old-school feminist believer in the blank slate brain. This book is just arrogant and sloppy in its long-shot generalizations. In summary: Grok like boink woman, watch football, make fire. No talky-feewings. Grokina Utterly unhelpful for those of us who do not fit the stereotypical personalities associated with our genders. I'm a Myers-Briggs INTJ. I like to retreat to my cave. Maybe, according to Gray's beliefs, this means I must also have a deeply hidden penis? Don't get me wrong. I'm not some old-school feminist believer in the blank slate brain. This book is just arrogant and sloppy in its long-shot generalizations. In summary: Grok like boink woman, watch football, make fire. No talky-feewings. Grokina like talk friends on phone, put on face paints then cry off face paints, withhold sex from Grok. Neither of Gray's alien races enjoy receiving unsolicited advice, but the author doesn't seem to recognize this as a shared trait. A man's irritation with his wife's advice is framed as the natural result of excessive feminine nagging. (Grok no listen to dumb-dumb woman who hurt manly pride with suggestions!) Unsolicited advice from a man, on the other hand, is referred to as an old Martian honor that feelings-oriented Venusians fail to appreciate. Y'know. 'cause men like to FIX things and women like to whine, remember?If there really are any people who fit Gray's "Martian" and "Venusian" profiles, I sincerely hope those individuals are pursuing each other. Neither of these sexist caricatures would make a decent mate for a real, three-dimensional human being. flag 20 likes · Like  · see review View 1 comment Jan 10, 2009 Melissa rated it it was amazing Alright. So I didn't post this book when I first signed up on this website, maybe because I was embarrassed and I didn't want everybody to know I had read it. OR maybe I was trying to keep all of its insightful secrets to myself. This is hands down one of the most amazing books I've ever read about relating to the opposite sex. Shocking, I know. But truly. Girls in relationships, are you frustrated?? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you wish your guys did this this and this and you wish he would Alright. So I didn't post this book when I first signed up on this website, maybe because I was embarrassed and I didn't want everybody to know I had read it. OR maybe I was trying to keep all of its insightful secrets to myself. This is hands down one of the most amazing books I've ever read about relating to the opposite sex. Shocking, I know. But truly. Girls in relationships, are you frustrated?? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you wish your guys did this this and this and you wish he would just effing CARE? READ THIS BOOK!! It has so many answers. flag 19 likes · Like  · see review View 2 comments Sep 07, 2016 Nissy rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition Shelves: bad-choices am i the only one who found this book extremely sexist ?! why would a woman find this book helpful ?! flag 20 likes · Like  · see review View all 7 comments Mar 15, 2011 Merihan Al Fiqi rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition Shelves: كتب-اشتاق-اليها John Gray is an American author on relationships and personal growth, best known for his 1992 book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and other "pop psychology" books offering relationship advice. flag 17 likes · Like  · see review View 1 comment Nov 03, 2016 Ben Babcock rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition Shelves: audio, from-library, non-fiction, 2016-read, not-anyone-s-cup-of-tea, bangingbookclub, feminism Wow, this one was rough. I had to borrow the audiobook version from my library/Hoopla because that was the only format available, and it is the abridged audio edition. I normally avoid abridged editions. What’s the point in missing out on a bunch of the book? In the case of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, however, I think I’ll make an exception. This is just a terrible, even actively harmful book, and judging from the Banging Book Club video where they talk about things that weren’t Wow, this one was rough. I had to borrow the audiobook version from my library/Hoopla because that was the only format available, and it is the abridged audio edition. I normally avoid abridged editions. What’s the point in missing out on a bunch of the book? In the case of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, however, I think I’ll make an exception. This is just a terrible, even actively harmful book, and judging from the Banging Book Club video where they talk about things that weren’t present in the abridgement, I’m very, very lucky.Yes, this is the October pick for the Banging Book Club, a monthly club that reads books about sex, sexuality, and gender. This month’s pick is a doozy. Apparently this was an influential book in the 1990s and started the eponymous saying, so I get the reasons for wanting to read it. But it is just so bad.As you can guess from the title, John Gray thinks men and women are very different creatures. But it gets worse. He frames the book in an extended metaphor, setting for us a scenario in which men came from Mars, women from Venus, and started living together here on Earth until they forgot their origins. It’s tortured and overwrought and would be the first thing on the cutting room floor if a half-decent editor had their way.It probably goes without saying, but this book is incredibly cis/heteronormative. Not once does Gray entertain the idea that you're in a relationship with anyone who is of the same sex as you; not once does he entertain the notion that there might be more to the performance of gender than “man” and “woman”. So though there is advice in here that makes sense (I mean, “listen to your partner” is always good advice), it is so wrapped up in harmful assumptions that it becomes useless.The idea that men and women are somehow fundamentally different, especially when it comes to something like romance, is hard for us to shake. Even feminists often have trouble with this notion, especially at first. And observationally, yeah, men and women often do act differently or in stereotypical ways—but it is very difficult to pinpoint whether those observed differences are biological or cultural in origin. Very often, sex-linked or gender-linked differences turn out to have both biological and cultural elements to them (e.g., hormonal and social cues influencing when we feel ready to pursue a new romantic relationship). Like most science, this type of science is hard. So I don’t need Not-a-Real-Doctor Dr. John Gray to tell me it’s so simple he can teach me in an hour and a half. (Wikipedia tells me he isn’t a real doctor, making Gray about as reliable as Wikipedia.)So Gray pretty much ignores anyone in the LGBTQIA+ constellation of gender and sexual identity. And this, in a book written in the early nineties! It sounds to me like something rooted more in the 1960s or 1970s—I was picturing the Jetsons for all his examples. His assumption that a romantic relationship is monogamous and heterosexual and that both parties are cisgender erases anyone who is different. Plus, it’s boring.Beyond this, so much of Gray’s advice is just so facile. It’s either so simple as to be obvious—communicate better—or it’s stereotypical and peculiarly specific. In addition to the Martian/Venusian metaphor, Gray decides to talk about women being like waves and men being like rubber bands. Sure, I guess? Can I be like a disco ball with a bow-tie? Do we get to pick our similes, or are they all assigned at birth?Look, if you read this book and it helped me, I’m not saying that’s not real. But I think it’s important that we differentiate between pop psychology and actual science, and that when we make decisions, we base them on the latter. And we need to call out bullshit when we see it, particularly when it makes restrictive assumptions about the type of people living our society. Men aren’t from Mars and women aren’t from Venus, and attempting to reinforce the gender binary and gender norms does no one any favours. flag 16 likes · Like  · see review View 2 comments Jun 27, 2007 Kecia rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: men and women Shelves: relationships, non-fiction When I was in college a priest came to our all girls dorm to talk about guys. Not sure why it was a priest but oh well. Anyway in a nutshell he told us that women thought about the world in a subjective manner and men thouhgt about the world in an objective manner. He said if you ask a man what he's thinking and he says, "nothing" he really is thinking about nothing, which is incomprehensible to women who are thinking about everything. At 20 years old this was mind-blowing stuff. Then along came When I was in college a priest came to our all girls dorm to talk about guys. Not sure why it was a priest but oh well. Anyway in a nutshell he told us that women thought about the world in a subjective manner and men thouhgt about the world in an objective manner. He said if you ask a man what he's thinking and he says, "nothing" he really is thinking about nothing, which is incomprehensible to women who are thinking about everything. At 20 years old this was mind-blowing stuff. Then along came John Gray and in a comic book sort of way said basically the same thing. It was cute, but the priest had already told me all this stuff. If you can find a thrift store copy it's an entertaining refresher course about how to communicate with those of the opposite gender. flag 16 likes · Like  · see review View all 3 comments Dec 14, 2016 Bren rated it it was ok Shelves: read-and-reviewed, non-fiction, psychology-self-help, educational It is fun to read. B ut I was not all that impressed.When I was younger, I read this types of books way more then I do now. I did a reread of this one not that long ago and did not like it near as much.Some things maybe true in here..I liked the rubber band analogy..but some things were sexist seeming and seemed to put all the responsibility for everything on the woman. I have noticed that with these types of books.Don't get me wrong. This book is nowhere as bad as "The Rules". (I read that as a It is fun to read. B ut I was not all that impressed.When I was younger, I read this types of books way more then I do now. I did a reread of this one not that long ago and did not like it near as much.Some things maybe true in here..I liked the rubber band analogy..but some things were sexist seeming and seemed to put all the responsibility for everything on the woman. I have noticed that with these types of books.Don't get me wrong. This book is nowhere as bad as "The Rules". (I read that as a joke). But I did not agree with much of it and thought that many assumptions were made.I appreciated the use of real human examples but the book seems to generalize alot and all these do's and don'ts and letting the guy feel like the pursuer..it bothers me.I feel that is buying into stereotype in many ways and also making the female be something that she may not actually be. Isn't being an imposter or lying or down playing who you are worse then letting your best self shine through? And is the woman really going to want to be with a guy who will not let her ever take the lead? I feel as if once again the female is pushed into this space of being somewhere between a pretty sweet young thing and a Stepford wife.I do not think that is the author's intention. He comes across as sincere. But I feel he makes to many allowances for the male. I do not get why the female has to let herself be "conquered". I have also found that most of these types of relationships..where each party is playing a role..do not last anyway. I feel a strong and confident male would not NEED to always have to take the lead. I do not feel in this age and time, where women have come so far, that there really needs to be a playing into a fantasy of what men want versus who we actually are. I am aware this book is older and sure, some things have changed but books like this bother me greatly.OK..I will stop rambling now. I still give it a two because it keeps you involved. But I disagree with much of it. flag 15 likes · Like  · see review View all 4 comments Sep 27, 2011 Fotooh Jarkas rated it it was amazing Shelves: favorites, psychology, relationships, english, owned-books I just finished reading this book , actually I used to read it twice to get all the ideas included . it's strange to find someone who knows about yourself more than you do !! , so in the same way I think it can tell about others too ..you will learn how to change your good intentions into actions , so it will save you from repeating bad scenarios .and all in a very simple and clear form I Love this book and recommend it to everybody :) flag 15 likes · Like  · see review View 1 comment Nov 19, 2016 Nguyen Linh Chi rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition A relationship bible. Must get a Vietnamese-translated version for my parents as well.Takeaways:- Men want appreciation, admiration, trust and acceptance.- When your man turns away, just do something you like (reading, exercising, etc.) and let him be alone.- Don't ask rhetoric questions. Try to be more supportive, eg. "I do not like your coming home late without calling me. Next time when you hang out with your colleagues, call me in advance".- Set clear personal boundaries.- When you are A relationship bible. Must get a Vietnamese-translated version for my parents as well.Takeaways:- Men want appreciation, admiration, trust and acceptance.- When your man turns away, just do something you like (reading, exercising, etc.) and let him be alone.- Don't ask rhetoric questions. Try to be more supportive, eg. "I do not like your coming home late without calling me. Next time when you hang out with your colleagues, call me in advance".- Set clear personal boundaries.- When you are resentful, ask your man to support.- Stop always saying yes to his requests. Instead, gracefully ask what you want to do.- Do not give your man advice or support unless he asks you.- Sometimes there is a difficult situation, it is better to write a letter to him. (This is not common in Vietnamese culture but you can try).- Do not ask your man to support when he is obviously planning to do it.- Ask a man directly for his support 'Would you/ Would you please ...?'. Do not present a list of reasons why he should support you. Do not question his ability to help.- If you want him to give more, show him your appreciation.- Men are more willing to say yes if they have a freedom to say no. When your man rejects helping you, just say 'OK. No problem'. Next time he will be more willing to help you.- Grumbling is his way to start saying yes. When he grumbles, just keep silence.- Never argue. Instead, discuss pros and cons of things. flag 14 likes · Like  · see review View all 3 comments Apr 08, 2007 sanaz rated it did not like it Shelves: etc I just read about 10- 20 frist pages. then I couldn't continue it. I mean how cheap!!! I can not understand this way of writing! but mybe something is wrong with me. lots of my friends read it and suggest me too do so... Sorry flag 14 likes · Like  · see review Jun 22, 2012 Jonathan-David Jackson rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition This is a decent book, with some decent advice. I think a lot of the other reviewers would probably have enjoyed it more if they hadn't felt "I can't believe the author thinks all women/men are like X, I'm not like that at all!" There's no reason to feel that way (sorry if you're a woman, btw, since men aren't supposed to say why you shouldn't feel a certain way), because the author mentions several times that the things he say about one sex can just as easily apply to the other sex, or that it This is a decent book, with some decent advice. I think a lot of the other reviewers would probably have enjoyed it more if they hadn't felt "I can't believe the author thinks all women/men are like X, I'm not like that at all!" There's no reason to feel that way (sorry if you're a woman, btw, since men aren't supposed to say why you shouldn't feel a certain way), because the author mentions several times that the things he say about one sex can just as easily apply to the other sex, or that it might not apply to you at all, regardless of your gender. For example, unlike the Martians of this book I'm able to understand that "Could you take out the trash?" is a request to take out the trash instead of a literal question about my ability to do so, but I didn't need to feel offended since that part didn't apply to me, it wasn't about *me*. If shopping isn't something you want to do to give your boyfriend/girlfriend some alone time, don't get upset, because it's not about *shopping*, it's about doing something by yourself and trusting your significant other. It's obviously written from a perspective of traditional relationships with stereotypical men and women in them to more easily make the points he wants, and that's fine. Anyway, the book is very easy, light reading, and it has some good things to say. It's more than 20 years old by now though, so you're probably better off getting a more recent book which would have refined the advice given here. flag 12 likes · Like  · see review View 1 comment Apr 25, 2014 Jennifer Jacobs rated it it was amazing Shelves: my-reviews, best-books-ever One of my all time fav book :-)As a mental health enthusiast,this book has engaged me for hours and days as I have read it like 5 times!!Some argue that many observations about both men and women in this book are too simplistic and lack nuance.That books like this enforce stereotypes both - ve and + ve about men and women,while that may be true,this book is like a cult favorite and a real groundbreaking one at that!It has initiated a debate in public discourse about how men and women think One of my all time fav book :-)As a mental health enthusiast,this book has engaged me for hours and days as I have read it like 5 times!!Some argue that many observations about both men and women in this book are too simplistic and lack nuance.That books like this enforce stereotypes both - ve and + ve about men and women,while that may be true,this book is like a cult favorite and a real groundbreaking one at that!It has initiated a debate in public discourse about how men and women think differently and how knowing this can help ourselves and our loved ones esp of the opposite gender.There are many opposing voices and researches vs this hypothesis too!But many things in this book about me as a woman are soo real :-)I can relate to these supposedly 'stereotypes' of myself!Nothing is set i stones but this book is entertaining,informative and very light hearted:-)5 stars flag 12 likes · Like  · see review Nov 28, 2016 Olivia "So many books--so little time."" rated it really liked it Author's take on this subject is interesting. flag 12 likes · Like  · see review View 1 comment Mar 30, 2014 Sheziss rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition Shelves: did-not-finish, essay Why did I ever try to read this?I was young and stupid. flag 12 likes · Like  · see review View 2 comments Oct 10, 2017 Syndi rated it it was amazing Ah how i remember this book. I found it during a night browsing at a bookstore. At that time I am like so many young adult is obsess understanding the opposite sex. How they think and how to communicate with them without causing misunderstanding. Until now, the content of this book is relevant. Thank you John Gray. flag 10 likes · Like  · see review Jan 16, 2018 Renata rated it did not like it Shelves: worst-bestsellers, nonfiction, grownup dumb, damaging, gender essentialist nonsensehttp://www.frowl.org/worstbestsellers... flag 10 likes · Like  · see review View 1 comment « previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 … next »

Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading...
We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.