| Introduction
Meet Tony Yustein—a guy who stumbles through life with a goat named Alan, a knack for breaking reality, and a heart that somehow cracks open the best kind of wisdom. These aren’t just stories. They’re 72 wild, weird, and wonderful snapshots of what happens when you mix cosmic chaos with a little bit of truth. From a pen that only writes what you’re brave enough to dream, to a doorbell that rings when someone needs you most, Tony’s adventures are equal parts hilarious and holy. You’ll laugh. You’ll pause. You might even whisper “I get it” to a goat who’s seen it all.
I can’t recommend this book enough. It’s a rare gem—funny enough to lift your spirits, deep enough to stir your soul, and cracked just right to let the light in. Whether you’re lost, laughing, or somewhere in between, Tony and Alan are the companions you didn’t know you needed. Grab it, dive in, and let the wisdom sneak up on you. You won’t regret it.
Foreword:
This isn’t your grandma’s wisdom book—unless your grandma once hacked reality with a potato battery or faced down a vending machine at the edge of time.
Tony Yustein doesn’t arrive with a halo or a handbook. He shows up with a goat, a half-baked idea, and a knack for tripping over truths so cracked they shine. These stories are his—ours—yours. They’re about the moments when life splits open, spilling lessons you didn’t sign up for, laughter you didn’t expect, and a weird little goat who somehow gets it.
Don’t read this straight through. Pick a page when you’re lost, when you’re laughing, or when you just need proof that the universe is as messy and marvelous as you are. Tony’s not here to fix you. He’s here to remind you that the cracks are where the good stuff sneaks in.
So grab a snack—preferably baklava—and dive in. Wisdom’s better when it’s a little broken.
— For the brave, the bewildered, and anyone who’s ever whispered “What if?”
Dedication:
To the ones who laugh through the chaos,
who find light in the fractures,
and who keep walking even when the shoes won’t move—
this is for you.
And to Alan—
because every cracked soul needs a goat who knows more than he lets on.
About the Author: Tony Yustein
Tony Yustein is a self-proclaimed “frequency jumper” and recovering cosmic meddler who once accidentally rebooted the universe with a Post-It note. He’s survived trials by cheesecake, karaoke duels with snack wardens, and a suspiciously prophetic microwave—all while trying to figure out if he’s a prophet, a poet, or just a guy with really weird luck. When he’s not decoding reality’s footnotes with a pen that only writes brave things, Tony can be found sipping tea with past lives or arguing with his shadow about who’s more enlightened. He lives somewhere between here and there, always with a spare slice of baklava in his pocket.
About the Co-Conspirator: Alan the Goat
Alan is a goat of few bleats and infinite mysteries. Rumored to be a memory vault for a failed cosmic rebellion, he’s been Tony’s sidekick, therapist, and occasional legal counsel since that shady Anatolian bazaar deal went down. Fluent in Sumerian, Fibonacci spirals, and passive-aggressive silence, Alan’s hobbies include chewing sacred thyme, auditing parallel realities, and staring at humans until they admit the truth. He denies all allegations of being the real mastermind behind this book—but his tiny glasses and cryptic blog posts (@GoatOfGnosis) suggest otherwise. |
